So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize