i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
