the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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