Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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