so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
