bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
