he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
