If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
