theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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