So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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