There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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