Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
A+ Viking dick
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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