worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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