You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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