I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize