There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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