Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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