Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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