Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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