they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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