I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
