You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
