Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize