I feel like I'm in dance class right now
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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