Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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