dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
