Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
