I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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