he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
