you would pick up someone in the library
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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