the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
it hurts more in the daytime
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
