Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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