I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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