rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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