Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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