You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
