I'm lost and stupid without you.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
3pm strippers are depressing
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
