How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
