Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
