i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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