Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
