She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
