Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
