Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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