there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
