Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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