i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
