We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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