I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
