It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
