I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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