thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
how can u be prego again
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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