No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
