It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
