Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
