I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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