I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
