"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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