i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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