Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
